Chamomile Tea, Buddhism and Cleansing.

In the past weeks since contemplating once again on my life and death, and my difficulty on seeing the lighter side of the world, the ups and the downs and my predisposition toward suicidal thoughts I have been doing very well under a strict medicinal time frame. Taking iron supplements also to avoid the malaise which confuses me as to the source of my suffering. Still I have found the continual need for further improvement and in doing so I have begun delving intently into the world of Buddhism.

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I believe strongly now that this might be the path for me.The words of the Buddha have impressed me. His teachings. Already I am feeling a dawning freedom, a liberation. As with my adjusting into Buddhism I have begun the practice of nightly tea drinking. It is such a peaceful event every night. I drink the wonderful, calming and soothing chamomile tea. In some ways it is just as good as my Xanax. Speaking of Xanax, I have begun the slow and steady process of weaning myself off all my mood altering meds i.e. SSRI’s.

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I want a chance to be the real me and live in that flesh again. Feel naturally as I can in all the parts of my ‘Body’. Suicide is not an option. Moods turn. Turning more so. I will keep you up to date on my learning of the ways of Buddhism, as I try to walk the path of enlightenment. Enlightenment! What a proper word. No longer will I be hostage to the dark forces at work in and out of me. I love you all and wish peace and prosperity to all of Mankind! ❤

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Chamomile Tea, Buddhism and Cleansing.

I Howl At the Void. I Hear Myself.


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I have not committed suicide. I swear an oath to my wolf brethren that I will never dishonor my bloodline. If there is pain then pain will be endured. It is all chemicals anyway. I am here for the prosperity I am to collect until fate ends me. Tactics and plans, amen. Rolling of the die. There is fresher kill there than here. Here than there. Always new woods; the majesty of the trees and chill frost wind. The song of the new pack. The accompaniment of Owls. The unaware footfalls of the antelope. The retching of a lost and weakened camper, drunkenly coming closer. New woods. News nights. Death but not by me. Claw grip on LIFE. Continue to sing in me my blood!

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I Howl At the Void. I Hear Myself.