I’m a ghost. . . Boo!

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I wrote recently of my trouble with dating. I mentioned that I often feel unseen. It happens more and more. It started to make me wonder am I distinguishable at all? Do I naturally drive others away? I know for a fact I’m not a magnetic person.  Nobody flocks to my side. Is it the age we live in? Is everyone troubled. I would love to just have a conversation with people. Express Ideas. Build bonds, as difficult as that is for me (autism) I would still like to try, and try hard. It’s as if the world has become more autistic than I am. I am trying to build, adapt and be a sociable being. This is what I’m building myself toward, yet no one seems to want to participate. Everyone is getting farther and farther away. I see people who are lost in the meaningless bullshit that has no real relevance in life. LIFE. Allowing themselves to be distracted by facades, and ads, and spectacles that are without substance. Everyone is looking at the hole in the doughnut of life instead of at the doughnut itself. We revolve around the void. We are not of the void. I’m trying to engage with Life but Life seems to be consistently withdrawing. I can’t get the attention of anyone I try to engage with. I’m going out of my way to build bridges no one wants to cross. Needless to say, but of course I will, I am frustrated and confused. Is it profitable in any personal measure to try and engage anymore with my fellow human beings?

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I’m a ghost. . . Boo!

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