I’m grateful to be alive. I’m grateful to know the people, friends, family of autism I’m living with. You know, when this international debacle got started it put things into perspective. It’s as if for the first time I can feel how large and fragile the world is and I’ve been freaking out. Just as I ran out of Xanax. However, I do continue to breathe and to try and end this suicidal run of thoughts in my head. I’m getting out into the world and doing some shit. I’m taking up drinking green tea. I’m taking a class. I’m going out to drink more. I’m going out to eat more. I’m making appointments. I’m AVOIDING media. I am desisting from being a news junkie. I will keep abreast of what happens in terms of headlines but I will focus on other things. This dark time will break clear and bright again as so many of my past plunges into depression and anxiety have. I will enjoy food and music and old films again. I’m going to try if you try. I know there are people out there trying. Always forward, with love.