Went to a Halloween party at bar. Had a mask but never wore it. As party began in full swing it was clear to me that I wasn’t to fit in. I now deny my humanity. I want none of it. Life won’t give it. So I don’t want it. I am dead inside. I am my own world. I am the important being. I am surrounded by nothings. Space wasters. I feel nothing. I don’t ever want to feel anything again.