So I spent all day in an office doing nothing but watching my mother do her job. It was either spend all day at home wandering around like the ghost that I seem to be or distracting myself with being outside. It exhausted me and when home I passed out in bed. Just woke up. My heart is heavy. I feel like I’m capable of righting my self but don’t seem to know where to start. I will not sleep all night. I’ll pace and wonder what the hell I’m doing on this planet. I don’t know how to get my shit together. My anxiety meds don’t help no more. I don’t know what to do. I’m glad I didn’t go to college because I was not into any of the curriculum. So I don’t have a debt problem. What I do have is an endlessly aimless personage that won’t let me alone. I am flat out uninterested in 98.8 percent of all things in life. I am constantly bored. I need alcohol to feel things. I am not a real person just a mirage in an alkaline land and in the far ahead when walking toward one never encounters me.